The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Okay Okay so I said I'd write about Ricky, the Kite Runner, and 1984 but truth be told I haven't finished 1984 yet but since no one reads this blog that's my little secret XD.. lol I never used that face before. Also I will write about the many books I have already read at one point in time.. probably when I have a ton of school work and am attempting to procrastinate/ I really need to tell you about Pet Sematary. Anywhoo I read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and girlfriend! we've got to talk...

So I borrowed this book from a friend on the recommendation of her fiance. My first chapter books were of the Clue and Clue Jr. persuasion so it is no secret that I am a great fan of "the old Miss Marple" closed-room murder mystery (though I have yet to read an Agatha Christie Book). While I am a great fan of murder mysteries, I must admit that I had never read one made exclusively for adults (having read my share of tween/teen R.L. Stein and Diane Hoh who dunnits) so I entered this novel with great enthusiasm.

From the beginning we were off to a rough start, the names were all Swedish and they used words like kronors for dollars (which I was too lazy to look up so I had no idea if the sum they were ever talking about was significant or not) and "Kalle" Blomkovist (a nickname the main character - no, not that girl with the tattoo of a dragon - a man named Mikael Blomkovist, who sounded mighty hot minus his disgusting choice of lifestyle, absolutely dispised). Now why would anyone hate being colled Kalle? I have no idea what it means but it sounds fun.

  Anywho back to the actual story. So it started off pretty interesting, in that we're introduced to Henry Vanger, a billionaire old guy receives another pressed flower on his birthday from his missing-for-40-years-so-she's-presumed-dead neice, who had been giving this gift to him since she was 9 years old (ooOoo creepy). Unfortunately, after this intersting start, the novel immediately slows down and brings forth this character name Mikael Blomkovist, a guy who was charged with libel and didn't have any retort therefore making him seem like he was sticking to his word, okay great, whatever, boring. We're briefly introduced to the girl with the drag tat when she does a background check for Vanger on Blomkovist whom he hires to solve the mystery of the girl which has been the old's man passion forEVER (by the way, he's been accusing his entire family of the murder for the past 40 years so everyone on the island hates each other, the victim and the old man). Great. So Blom agrees because the old man promises him some dirty deets about the guy who Blom slandered on paper.

  Then when we finally get introduced to the dragon girl, Lisbeth Salander, we find out that she's got a mom in a nursing home, has been living in the system, went through a horrible period in her life but somehow manages to the best detective there ever could be with the uncanny ability to uncover anything anywhere about anyone at any point in time. As unlikely as it is for a girl with no education, no background in such a field, and a social disorder to be capable of this we also find out she's the most incredible hacker in the world and that she has a photographic memory. I'll admit life beats this girl up but there is no doubt that she doesn't even try to prevent some of the atrocities that happen to her, she waits and then MAKES THEM PAY. I hate this character from the get-go because she's to simple. She can accomplish all of these incredibly impossible things because people happen to hang all of their dirty laundry on their weakly encrypted computers, oh and she boxes so while she's not strong enough to protect herself from the Baddie in her personal life, she is strong enough to protect a man who was stripped an gagged from a Serial Killer (as if.. according to movies, Serial Killers are far more resiliant than this).

  The problem, for me, with all of these characters is that there is no character development or growth. This is something I rely on. My attachment to characters is what has the power to make a book timeless to me. Though the actual mystery and details of how it unfolds has great layers, which I do commend the late author for, I feel like the actual characters learned nothing in the end and have no depth or changes from their experiences. As well, when the problems start getting resolved, they do at such a rapid pace there is not time to appreciate what has unfolded. Oh we found the killer an hour after his discovery, he's dead. Oh look this is what happened to Harriet and all of the bad people in her life end up dead. Oh and remembre those boring problems that Blom had in the beginning? The old man swindled him but don't worry Dragon girl is a super genius and the big corporate baddie didn't password protect the life story he wrote on his computer so all of the problems that resulted in a court sentence ended up creating a best-selling novel for Blom and they all lived together, happily ever after.The end.

I honestly wouldn't have finished the novel if Wikipedia had a better plot summary.

I realize I don't actually review the books as much as I rant about specific parts of the storyline.. so I guess that's what this blog will be.

On a side note, I'm starting Franny and Zooey by my homeboy J.D. Salinger (Catcher in the Rye is my book, it's in my top 3 of all time which also includes the Secret Garden and Anne of Green Gables).

New Posts Coming Soon!

I've been reading a lot, but not blogging! Expect Ricky, Kite Runner, Wicked, and 1984. I read Wicked a while ago but it was so great I just have to review it...

Freaks: Alive on the Inside

Though this book would not have been my first choice for this beloved book club of mine. It is the most recent novel I have read so I suppose I should tell you 'bout it.

I read it this summer, which feels eons ago, though this book still permeates through my brain because so many things remind me of it.  I chose the book because, naturally, I was drawn to the cover, which is how I always judge my books. The book was essentially about the journey of a horny young man named Abel who in and of himself is a freak purely by being the only normal-bodied person born and raised among side-show performers characterized by their physical deformities.

Out of pure laziness I'll give you the product description:

Abel Dandy feels all alone, a normal teenager who lives in Faeryland, where his parents perform with other "human oddities." His extended family includes dwarves, fat ladies, and Siamese twins, and his first kiss was with Phoebe the Dog-Faced Girl. Everyone has an act to perform, for in 1899 there are not many ways for these "freaks" to earn a living. But what can boring Abel do? Determined to seek adventure and find a girl without a beard to kiss, Abel runs away from home.

But Abel finds a harsh world outside of Faeryland. Nothing seems to go as planned and he is even more alone -- except for a beautiful dancing girl who haunts his dreams and seems connected to his ancient Egyptian scarab ring. After misadventure and mishap (complicated by a little problem he thought he'd left behind), Abel stumbles upon a shabby traveling freak show run by the sinister Dr. Mink. It holds secrets that break his heart. Abel's grand adventure takes a dark and dangerous twist, but the dazzling girl of his dreams beckons him onward as does his own true soul.

There it is for you plain and simple, no twists or turns. The story unfolds exactly as described above, he finds that beautiful girl, who happens to be a mummy and the love of his life in a past life and they live happily ever after.  His end journey was that he realized that everything he was looking for, the acceptance, the adoration was right where he left it.. at home.

At the end of the product description they say "Annette Curtis Klause has woven humor, adventure, history, and fantasy into this exhilarating epic. Step inside and see the show -- if you dare. You will never be the same again"

This book was hardly humorous, the adventure was predictable, and the fantasy was a recount of every teenage coming of age novels where in the end the hero realizes that home IS where the heart is, and what he's been searching for all along is his own acceptance; believe in yourself; your true friends will always be there for you.. blah blah. I stuck it through because I hate leaving a book half-read but I'll tell you, it was not enjoyable in the least.  Abel is a young man who is desperate for love, and while we all have felt that way, his ability to find love in a sexy rotting mummy that becomes more human with his every caress was an awkward and lazy touch to the story that really didn't complete the lesson. Abel leaves his family and everyone he cares about, partly in search for love. He doesn't go through any trials or heartache that are associated with love, he just has to find her and touch her and kapow he's got his babe of a lady-in-waiting (oh not to mention she protects him from all harm and she's a bagillion years older than him but not at the same time because he was her lover in a past life). The storyline of their past life is lame, the idea that they were lovers and the king wasn't cool with it has been done to death.

That new movie cirque du freak's commercial really reminded me of this book.. but god it looks dumb the vampire's assistant? Sounds boring to me.

Sorry for the sucky review guys, but I just didn't like this book and I read it two months ago so I'll try a little harder on the next book. I really need to hit up a library, but in case I can't, I'll probably read kite runner (which is weird for me because I've never read a serious book before)..